Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Not really well......

Yeap. Plan to turn situation around? Turned it 360º. Back to square 1. Actually even before. That feeling of being lost in life has come back, for now I am truly lost.

I put my trust in you. That's all you need to know. You actually knew, yet you disregarded it. You made me have a negative feeling in myself, and you knew you did. The problem? You didn't know what that feeling was...... You thought you were conjuring fear I guess. You thought wrong. Really wrong. What had sparked in me, was a fit of anger I never knew before. You don't know this. Your knowledge, so thin, shall be your downfall. Your disability to read others, will put you in an extremely disadvantageous position. I yearn for your blood to spill by my hand, but that would land me in lots of trouble, and, it would spill 10 fold anyway, in a place you strongly believe in......

You, well, it was never your fault. In fact, I believe you were helping me unknowingly. But the success rate of your assistance was only half, and you led me to worse trouble. Still, it is not your fault, and I shall never blame you for it. You gave off so much energy, and I was attracted, yet, there was some barrier that would separate me from you. As time passed, haha, your energies grew stronger, and I find myself helplessly banging into the barrier. Well, I wish you all the best anyway......

My other blog, I posted about best friends, and true friends. It is really hard to tell. In fact, they are never forever true, or maybe even never were true. Previously, I had identified 2, but 1 has proven me wrong, which led to me doubting the other. In short? I have no one left. The most confusing time in my life, where I am truly lost, to the point of not even knowing what I'm feeling, and I realise I have no one. I used to laugh at my life for being such a comedy, but its no longer funny. My life is comprised of false joy and pre-destined sorrow. Yet, I don't resign to fate, which makes my existence even worse.

Anyone who even sees this, please......

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