Sunday, January 2, 2011

Really?

I just don't fit in anywhere do I. Can't seem to find anywhere. So I really am that different? Funny thing I should be so ostracized.

All because I know more, I see things in a clearer light. Then no one wants to be near me. Is what I see really in a clearer light? Or is it that everyone else has seen something only I haven't seen? Or perhaps even better, I have only projected the image in my mind that I have seen things in a clearer light? And that all I have thought I was was just fake?

Either of the truth will seriously hurt, and only one will be right. Should I really hope I have always been right? While I live in a world where everything I did was deemed wrong and unacceptable? Perhaps the world really is just sheer suffering, and I'd have to wait till nirvana to find true peace? Not really, I see everyone around me, most of them, all already leading happy lives.

Family is great. But doesn't feel enough. Nothing ever feels great enough. Am I being to ambitious? Do I yearn for too much? Perhaps I have. Yet I do not see myself as such. But then where is all this suffering feeling coming from? Even if it isn't my fault, how can I ever live with it?

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