The extreme

There. I have done it. Wanted to delete, but just deactivated instead. My mind gets more and more retarded by the minute.

Just a mere sight of something barely related and I just flare up. Why? I have no idea anymore. Just need to see she was online, boom. Instant flare up. Why why why. Then a whole lot of thoughts, totally impossible come out. I still think of myself as a fucking hero. What the fuck am I? Nothing.

And my mind goes on and on and on and on. The fucking dumb thoughts. And the assumptions. And the imaginations. And the conclusions. It. Messes. Me. Up. Terribly. I. Just. Want. To. BREAK. OUT. OF. IT!

I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real, I wanna let go of the pain I felt so long......