Mystery

All the rage accumulated in me. So much, so hard to control. Yet, all got destroyed in merely 10 minutes. Just her presence. That was all it took to destroy the anger I had taken 16 years to build. She doesn't treat me exceptionally well or anything, yet this still happens. Just her presence......

And yet, its those people I call friends or family that actually bring rage. How is this life? I have no idea what it is. My friends enrage me. Just 1 girl does the opposite, without doing anything. With no explanation for it, it just happens. I feel like destroying the world, seeing humanity in suffering, but the very thought of her suffering comes to my mind and it all stops. It all just stops.

And the irony of it all is that she kind of treats me like nothing. I feel nothing. Even when I think I feel something, it ends up to be nothing. Yet there is such a strong pull, such a strong desire to give all I can, without receiving. Not receiving brings so much torment to me, yet the want to give her never stopped. It never has.

Friends are the most unreliable source of entertainment, but the most reliable source of sorrow. I don't think she is a friend, though we are not lovers, and most definitely not enemies. Then what......